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Childhood Emotional Neglect Test

“Trauma isn’t what happens to you—it’s what happens inside you because of it.”
That’s how Gabor Maté defines it, and it hits especially hard when we’re talking about the kind of pain that leaves no visible scars. Because not all trauma comes from what did happen—sometimes it’s about what didn’t. The love you didn’t get. The care that wasn’t there. This test is here to help you notice how early emotional neglect might still be shaping the way you relate—to yourself, to others, to the world around you. It’s not about labels. It’s just a moment to check in. And if something shows up, you can always explore it further with psychotherapist Sevda Leavy.
A meta-analysis of over 70 recent studies confirms what many feel deep down: lack of emotional care in childhood often leads to real struggles in adulthood. People who grew up without enough support from caregivers frequently face challenges in relationships, self-worth, and mental health—sometimes without even realizing where it all started.
That’s exactly why this test was created. It’s based on research exploring how emotional neglect in childhood impacts adult life, as well as insights from the international bestseller Running on Empty by Dr. Jonice Webb. This test is here to help you connect the dots—so you can stop blaming yourself for what was never yours to carry in the first place. If your results hit something tender, don’t brush it off. Tuning into your emotional world is the first step toward deeper self-understanding and real, lasting well-being.
How often do the following issues show up in your life?
1. I find it hard to move on when I mess up.
2. I struggle to reach out for help, even if I could really use it.
3. I feel lonely even when I’m around people I care about.
4. I don’t like relying on anyone but myself.
5. I don’t like talking about my feelings.
6. I feel emotionally shut down and disconnected.
7. I’m slow to get close to people and find long interactions draining.
8. I feel uncomfortable receiving praise or compliments.
9. I feel like expressing emotions makes me look weak or exposed.
10. I judge myself more harshly than I judge others.
11. I struggle to let my guard down, even when things are going well.
12. I wake up tired and disconnected, even when I’ve had enough rest.
13. I struggle with feeling unwell and dealing with health concerns.
14. It feels like my friends and family don’t truly understand me.
15. It’s hard for me to let go of things that hurt me.
16. Looking at others’ successes makes me feel like I’m falling short.
17. I put other people’s needs ahead of my own.
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